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  • Save the Sea Shadow!

    image

    This is the coolest boat the United States Navy never wanted. It was designed during the Cold War to demonstrate what a next generation navy could look like with advanced automation and stealth technology. It will be sold to a scrap yard about three days from now.

    As the ‘pedia will tell you, the Sea Shadow is an experimental ship built by Lockheed in the early 80’s. Shortly after the F-117 Stealth “Fighter” was delivered, the Lockheed Skunk Works proposed applying their expertise in radar stealth to ship design. They built the Shadow from 1982 to 1984 just up the road in Redwood City. It’s a tricky thing to hide the construction of a 563 ton, 164′ long boat in Silicon Valley, so assembly was cleverly hidden aboard the Hughes Mining Barge. The HMB-1 is a storied vessel in its own right, a submersible barge designed for a secret mission to recover a sunken Soviet submarine from the sea floor, and whose fate has been linked to the Shadow’s since the latter was built.

    imageAboard the Shadow’s floating dock.

    The Shadow’s distinctive shape is a necessity for radar stealth, but that’s not the only thing that makes it unconventional. To minimize wave disruption, the majority of the ship’s displacement is below the surface, further reducing the radar signature and maximizing stability in rough seas. This configuration, known as “SWATH”, is poetically described on the wiki page as like “creating a ship that rides atop twin submarines”. Operation of the boat was largely automated to minimize crew size, and while there are twelve bunks aboard, the minimum complement is just four sailors. Lieutenant Kennedy’s comparatively tiny PT-109 was built for a crew of 17.

    imageA quarter of the ship’s crew, monitoring the state of the art graphics.

    In 1985, the Sea Shadow went for sea trials to test Lockheed’s stealth claims. They towed the whole barge to southern California and conducted the tests off of the Santa Barbara Channel Islands under cover of darkness. Navy submarine spotting airplanes were dispatched to try to detect the stealth ship while it hid off the coast of Santa Cruz island. The powerful radar equipment had no trouble spotting a submarine’s periscope peeking above the surface from miles away. The Shadow, however, remained invisible. Even when the pilots were given the exact location of the boat, it was still incredibly difficult to pick it up on radar.

    This is where the story starts to turn sad. More than 25 years later, ships in the US Navy don’t bear much resemblance to this amazing boat. Astute readers may note that the ship is not named the USS Sea Shadow: it was never commissioned as a Navy ship, who abandoned the program altogether. It remained secret for years, but was later unveiled on San Francisco Bay in 1993. It sat largely unused for the next decade in San Diego. They dragged it out occasionally to run a test or two, and supposedly the technology is finally being used to inform future ship designs, but the original ship remains unused. In 2006, it was reunited with its old pal the HMB-1, when the ships were decommissioned and towed out to join the Suisun Bay mothball fleet. The Shadow is still kept hidden inside the barge where it was built, not too far from the Benicia Bridge on Interstate 680. At that time, the Navy announced that both ships were available for donation to a suitable maritime museum.

    imageThe Hughes Mining Barge visible in Suisun Bay.

    Six years later, the Sea Shadow is up for auction, and not in a museum at all. Before you try to figure out whether you and a few friends can afford to buy the most awesome party boat ever, be aware that the terms of the auction are exceedingly clear: “Scrapping shall be accomplished by melting, cutting, tearing, crushing, or breaking the item or component such that no resultant piece has a dimension exceeding five (5) feet.” The Navy has given up on finding a home for these boats, and decided that it’ll be easiest to sell them to the scrapyard.

    imageThese guys know they’ve got the ultimate party boat.

    This is kind of bumming me out: I think the Sea Shadow is beautiful, an inspiring example of clever engineering and technology. I’m not a fan of warships particularly, but I’m fascinated when creative people of any discipline design something that makes you rethink the entire category. It’s less inspiring when groundbreaking artifacts are reduced to scrap. I remind myself that art is not eternal, but I’m also idly wondering how hard it would be to start a maritime museum.

    Some more stories about these boats:

    • Ben Rich, former head of the Lockheed Skunk Works, wrote about the Sea Shadow in his memoir Skunk Works.
    • Photographer Scott Haefner and friends snuck into the mothball fleet a couple years ago and took some amazing photos, including some of the Shadow.
    • In 2009, the Wall Street Journal published this article about the hunt for a home for the two ships.
    • 1 year ago
  • Weekend bike tune-up

    I got a new bike from my favorite store! Craigslist! It’s a mountain bike with folding-in-half superpowers. It’s about a dozen years old, so a good bath and a repair or two were in order. It was a beautiful day today, perfect for getting the bike tuned up and going for a ride.

    image

    Here’s the before shot. The shifters are broken and need to be replaced, and I picked up fancy new pedals to trick it out a bit. I don’t know a lot about fixing bicycles, but I do have a lot of wrenches, so that’s almost the same thing.
    image
    A couple hours later, and I’ve finally gotten most of the bits off that need to come off. Not visible in this picture: the sea of wrenches behind me, almost all of them the wrong size for whatever it is I’m trying to do. All that’s left now is reassembly, readjusting the derailers and brakes, and my test ride!
    image
    The finished product! I did manage a quick jaunt around the block before it was completely dark out, and I’m pleased to report that many of the 21 nominal gear combinations appear to work, and that the brakes both engage and release when expected, more or less. A successful afternoon project!
    • 1 year ago
  • Neutral Milk Hotel (sort of)I gave up on ever seeing Neutral Milk Hotel in concert years ago. Band leader Jeff Mangum famously suffered a nervous breakdown after their final album, well chronicled in this 2008 Slate article written ten years after the release of In the Aeroplane Over the Sea. The band’s last official appearance was in 2001. In the years following there were frequent rumors that Mangum was working on a new album, or was planning a new tour, but all of these proved to be hoaxes. Then, in late 2010, the rumors became true. At least, a little bit true: a one-night engagement put on intentionally without promotion or fanfare to an audience of less than 100 invited guests. It wasn’t yet clear if this was a one-off event, or if he was really making a comeback. Then, a few months later, announcements of a small east-coast tour in 2011, and a surprise appearance in Liberty Park for Occupy Wall Street protesters. So, after a many-years wait, we were lucky enough to see Mangum in concert last night in Oakland, part of a west-coast tour that will culminate in appearances at Coachella. I hope he’s as happy to be performing again as that audience was to hear him. They were able to beg him back for a second encore after the house lights came up, and weren’t quite ready to leave even as the stagehands cleared the guitars and microphones. Highly recommended if you can’t help but sing along when you hear “Holland, 1945”.

    Neutral Milk Hotel (sort of)


    I gave up on ever seeing Neutral Milk Hotel in concert years ago. Band leader Jeff Mangum famously suffered a nervous breakdown after their final album, well chronicled in this 2008 Slate article written ten years after the release of In the Aeroplane Over the Sea. The band’s last official appearance was in 2001. In the years following there were frequent rumors that Mangum was working on a new album, or was planning a new tour, but all of these proved to be hoaxes.
    Then, in late 2010, the rumors became true. At least, a little bit true: a one-night engagement put on intentionally without promotion or fanfare to an audience of less than 100 invited guests. It wasn’t yet clear if this was a one-off event, or if he was really making a comeback. Then, a few months later, announcements of a small east-coast tour in 2011, and a surprise appearance in Liberty Park for Occupy Wall Street protesters.
    So, after a many-years wait, we were lucky enough to see Mangum in concert last night in Oakland, part of a west-coast tour that will culminate in appearances at Coachella. I hope he’s as happy to be performing again as that audience was to hear him. They were able to beg him back for a second encore after the house lights came up, and weren’t quite ready to leave even as the stagehands cleared the guitars and microphones. Highly recommended if you can’t help but sing along when you hear “Holland, 1945”.

    • 1 year ago
  • Linotype: The Film
Sure, Helvetica the movie was pretty good, if you like mainstream movies about typography. Incorrigible hipster that I am, you could find me at last Tuesday’s west-coast premiere of Linotype: The Film, presented by director Doug Wilson and hosted at the beautiful Typekit offices in San Francisco.
It was pretty swell! Linotype machines are marvelous to behold. The dizzying array of moving gears and cams and belts and pulleys make other complex contraptions, like, say, sewing machines or manual transmissions, seem trivial by comparison. As you might expect, the film chronicles the invention, rise, and fall of the typesetting machines, and the printing revolution they sparked. The explosion in availability of books and newspapers made possible by hot metal type was on par with the invention of the printing press before it, or of digital publishing afterward.
The story is told through the voices of operators, historians, and the community of artists and tinkerers who keep the remaining machines running. It’s the sort of documentary that reveals a glimpse into a fascinating subculture you would never otherwise hear about.
The DVD should be available sometime this summer. I’ll probably host a showing, but if the movie becomes too mainstream by then, I’ll have to make it a double feature with Farewell, Etaoin Shrdlu, the other documentary about Linotype machines.

    Linotype: The Film

    Sure, Helvetica the movie was pretty good, if you like mainstream movies about typography. Incorrigible hipster that I am, you could find me at last Tuesday’s west-coast premiere of Linotype: The Film, presented by director Doug Wilson and hosted at the beautiful Typekit offices in San Francisco.

    It was pretty swell! Linotype machines are marvelous to behold. The dizzying array of moving gears and cams and belts and pulleys make other complex contraptions, like, say, sewing machines or manual transmissions, seem trivial by comparison. As you might expect, the film chronicles the invention, rise, and fall of the typesetting machines, and the printing revolution they sparked. The explosion in availability of books and newspapers made possible by hot metal type was on par with the invention of the printing press before it, or of digital publishing afterward.

    The story is told through the voices of operators, historians, and the community of artists and tinkerers who keep the remaining machines running. It’s the sort of documentary that reveals a glimpse into a fascinating subculture you would never otherwise hear about.

    The DVD should be available sometime this summer. I’ll probably host a showing, but if the movie becomes too mainstream by then, I’ll have to make it a double feature with Farewell, Etaoin Shrdlu, the other documentary about Linotype machines.

    • 1 year ago
  • Halloween’s over

    Halloween’s over

    • 1 year ago
  • Almost All Saints’

    This is what I threw together for Halloween this year. I’m not sure what it’s supposed to be, either, but the skull head is both unnerving and comically oversized. It does place some limits on peripheral vision, clear communication, and food consumption.
    “I just want to say hello!”
    “I am sad about lunch, for my mouth does not open.”
    Colophon
    The giant polystyrene skull came from China by way of a local drugstore, and was never intended for use as apparel. After some quality time with a power drill and jigsaw, it was upgraded from patio decoration to wearable mask.
    A little black eyeshadow helps keep the eye sockets dark and creepy.
    The Victorian outfit was sourced years ago from the excellent Gentleman’s Emporium of San Jose. It is maintained in a high alert ready condition, as suitable occasions for Victorian wear may strike at any time. The black glove liners were pulled from my snowboarding gear.
    Upper photos taken by Ben using a Canon PowerShot S95. The third photo was taken by Brad using my crappy camera phone.
    • 1 year ago
  • My car is the pinnacle of engineering excellenceSCENE

Mazda headquarters, Hiroshima Japan, the early 1990s


SENIOR FUEL SYSTEM DESIGN ENGINEER
I’ve got it! We’ll wedge the fuel filter into
this narrow gap above the differential!
JUNIOR FUEL SYSTEM DESIGN ENGINEER
Are you insane? It will be almost impossible
to service if you put it there.
SENIOR
Nonsense! It’s conveniently close to the fuel
tank, and most small children will be able to
reach their arms blindly past the drive
shafts and feel around for the filter.
JUNIOR
But what about tools? Those kids need to fit
a socket wrench up there, and have enough
space to undo two hose clamps with pliers.
SENIOR
I’ve been assured that this part of the
chassis will have a minimum of razor-sharp
edges. And besides, children have excellent
imaginations. They’ll have no trouble
visualizing all of the bolts and hoses.
JUNIOR
This is absurd. I can’t believe you’re even
considering this!
SENIOR
Look, what’s the recommended replacement
interval for the fuel filter?
JUNIOR
Let me check… 60,000 miles?
SENIOR
Have you seen the engine they’re planning to
use on this thing?
JUNIOR
Of course it’s the new 13B-REW Wankel Rotary…
Oh. Oh, of course. I see.
SENIOR
Exactly. Only luck will keep those engines
running past 30,000 miles, anyway. By the time
the fuel filter is a concern, most owners will
have thrown the car away in frustration.
JUNIOR
I understand now. This is brilliant. Gosh, is
there any way we can make the filter even
less accessible?
SENIOR
I hear the exhaust engineers are planning on
adding extra heat shields all around the
differential!
BOTH
[laughter]

This picture may not look like much to you, but I call it “triumph.jpg”.

    My car is the pinnacle of engineering excellence

    SCENE
    Mazda headquarters, Hiroshima Japan, the early 1990s
    SENIOR FUEL SYSTEM DESIGN ENGINEER
    I’ve got it! We’ll wedge the fuel filter into
    this narrow gap above the differential!
    JUNIOR FUEL SYSTEM DESIGN ENGINEER
    Are you insane? It will be almost impossible
    to service if you put it there.
    SENIOR
    Nonsense! It’s conveniently close to the fuel
    tank, and most small children will be able to
    reach their arms blindly past the drive
    shafts and feel around for the filter.
    JUNIOR
    But what about tools? Those kids need to fit
    a socket wrench up there, and have enough
    space to undo two hose clamps with pliers.
    SENIOR
    I’ve been assured that this part of the
    chassis will have a minimum of razor-sharp
    edges. And besides, children have excellent
    imaginations. They’ll have no trouble
    visualizing all of the bolts and hoses.
    JUNIOR
    This is absurd. I can’t believe you’re even
    considering this!
    SENIOR
    Look, what’s the recommended replacement
    interval for the fuel filter?
    JUNIOR
    Let me check… 60,000 miles?
    SENIOR
    Have you seen the engine they’re planning to
    use on this thing?
    JUNIOR
    Of course it’s the new 13B-REW Wankel Rotary…
    Oh. Oh, of course. I see.
    SENIOR
    Exactly. Only luck will keep those engines
    running past 30,000 miles, anyway. By the time
    the fuel filter is a concern, most owners will
    have thrown the car away in frustration.
    JUNIOR
    I understand now. This is brilliant. Gosh, is
    there any way we can make the filter even
    less accessible?
    SENIOR
    I hear the exhaust engineers are planning on
    adding extra heat shields all around the
    differential!
    BOTH
    [laughter]
    This picture may not look like much to you, but I call it “triumph.jpg”.

    • 1 year ago
  • Eight years and twenty days

    Eight years and twenty days

    • 1 year ago
  • Repairing your Hotpoint HDA3440G05SA dishwasher

    Check this out:

    That used to be a solenoid that opens the drain on our washing machine. Now it’s a lump of fused plastic and metal. A dishwasher that does not drain its gross, used dishwater is hardly a labor saving device at all.
    There are, of course, corners of the internet devoted to forums where old-timers share advice on maintaining household appliances. The consensus seems to be that this solenoid will fail if the timing mechanism holds it open too long. The old solenoid is obviously busted, but to keep the new one from suffering a similar fate, the timer should be replaced, too.
    $74.82 to partadvantage.com later, and we’re back in the dishwashing business.
    The newly installed WD21X10060 drain solenoid kit.
    The new WD21X10155 timer (background) set to replace the old.

    Make sure to transfer the WD16X10007 cam to the new timer.

    When you’re done, be sure to take apart the old timer. It works like a little phonograph, with switches that trace along through six grooves. The blue gear takes one full washing cycle to rotate, coordinating the actions of the different motors like a player piano. There is no electronic logic.
    • 1 year ago
  • Apology to all sixteen of my feed subscribers

    I’ve been messing with some Posterous settings that invalidated the entire RSS feed, so posts you’ve already read may be reappearing in your inbox. Uh, sorry about that. In other news, you can now reread some of your favorite recent posts from my blog thing.

    • 1 year ago
    • #self-referential
© 2013 startled
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